Diary
by Arsinen
Summary: Oneshot. He could never find himself...and he is still trying to find himself in it. Used Breaking Benjamin's Diary of Jane. Very light shounen ai KaiTala and onesided KaiRei


Hey peeps this was just something really random that got into my mind when I was hearing Breaking Benjamin's Diary of Jane. So please check it out.

Warnings: um not really maybe some really weird thought patterns and a very light sheounen ai I mena it's brealy even there.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade nor doI own The Diary of Jane that belongs to Breaking Benjamin and to whoever else is involved int he making of the song.

It is an awesome song it would be nice and makes some more sense if you read it while hearing the song. I don't know to me it seemed to make more sense but whatever.

READ ENJOY &REVIEW!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Diary**

_If I had to  
I would put myself right beside you  
So let me ask  
Would you like that?  
Would you like that?_

Rei looked out the window the rain hitting the window lashing it with all it's fury through the water and wind he could see two figures although it was dark he could still make out the red and slate bluish color of the couple's hair. He cocked his head and thought 'if I were beside him would he like it?'

_And I don't mind  
__If you say this love is the last time  
__So now I'll ask  
__Do you like that?  
__Do you like that?_

_No_

Memories invaded his mind as he remembered the last time he had been with him, Kai. Rei hadn't minded at the time far from it, it seemed like things weren't going to work out but now it was all different and he found he couldn't live like that. Secretly to himself he asked Kai "Do you like that?" and for some reason like right now the answer was 'no' he didn't like it one bit even if he was currently with Tala running his hands up and down his sides sensually in the rain.

_Something's getting in the way  
__Something's just about to break  
__I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane  
__So tell me how it should be_

Rei narrowed his eyes as he watched the scene the glass, the glass around his heart cracked, but not yet broken. As if possessed he walked away from the window and walked to the door opening it. Walking out of the apartment into the pelting rain seeking some sort of comfort…answers he dug into his pocket feeling the outline of a book.

He had no idea what do now without Kai. It was too hard.

He continued to walk down the streets never seeing or hearing when someone ran up behind and grabbed him. He didn't even scream as the man whoever it was pulled him into the alley.

_Try to find out what makes you tick  
__As I lie down  
__Sore and sick  
__Do you like that?  
__Do you like that?_

Everything was a blur as he could feel was the pain and sickness. It was overpowering and one thought ran through his mind…a question 'Do you like that?"

_There's a fine line between love and hate  
__And I don't mind  
__Just let me say that I like that  
__I like that_

Rei again stared out the window, a different window and instead of rain sunshine poured in. Smiling slightly he didn't mind a bit of sunshine after so much rain. But there was something wrong. He had kept the book he had, had in his pocket that night and now what was inside was bothering him and it would not let him rest.

_Something's getting in the way  
__Something's just about to break  
__I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane  
__As I burn another page  
__As I look the other way  
__I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane  
__So tell me how it should be_

After not being able to contact Kai, the doctors released him from the hospital. Walking down the streets Rei realized that there was always something in between him and Kai and that at some point sooner or later that it would have broken.

Stopping at the entrance of an alley Rei looked to where a couple of homeless men gathered around a fire in a metal barrel. He looked down at the small book he was holding and slowly opened it. Flipping page after page the words coming up to him he ripped one out and walked over to the metal barrel and dropped in there the page incinerating in the fire.

The golden eyes dimmed, dimmed even further as he turned away and looked down at the book of entries…a diary.

The golden eyes scanned the pages and never found a single thing about him. It was empty of his name but only held one name apart from Kai, Tala.

_Desperate, I will crawl  
__Waiting for so long  
__No love, there is no love  
__Die for anyone  
__What have I become_

Rei continued to walk until he could no more until he could only crawl inch by inch, desperate, waiting for something that would never happen. He world crashed around him, he would die…he no longer recognized himself, he didn't know what had become of himself.

_Something's getting in the way  
__Something's just about to break  
__I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane  
__As I burn another page  
__As I look the other way  
__I still try to find my place  
__In the diary of Jane_

Sitting in a white room Rei could still see Tala, could still see his obstacle but it was no longer important. He was on the verge of breaking…some say he already was broken…shattered to more than a million pieces.

The diary still in his possession was sitting in front of him. More than half the pages gone by now but it would never change he would still look for himself

…_In the diary of…Kai Hiwaitari…_

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So what did you think? Please tell me in a review again this thought was completely random and I wrote it in like under twenty minutes so if it has any spelling/grammar mistakes please tell me.

Anways see you guys later, I will love all who review this. Thank you.


End file.
